Slide Mag

I Don't Like Traffic, No...

I done a silly yesterday. A dumb thing. A little slice of idiocy that someone my age should know better to avoid. Of all the things you should avoid (apart from getting involved in land wars in Asia) trying drive to the south west on the day the schools break up for the summer hols is the main one. Now I know most kids should be in school until the end of the shift but the blatantly weren't. It took me six hours exactly to get from the Big Smoke to Honiton, which shouldn't take less than four hours. I figured leaving at lunchtime I'd be ahead of the curve. But no. Driving down the M4/5 in second gear, whilst sweating and needing a fat piss really does suck ass big time...

Anyhoose. I'm on me way to the Billabong Juniors at Fistral on for the weekend. Not there yet as the swell is small to bleh. Should be okay tomoz, I hope... I might get there assuming the A30 isn't a car park from Newquay all the way to Exexexexexexexeter. Fingers crossed.

Serendib Dreaming- Webisode 3...

The Sri Lanka adventure is over, I'm sat in the Colombo airport coffee shop, it's 5:15a.m. We got up at 2:30a.m because our flight was supposed to be at 6:00a.m. It's 1.5hours late. So we could of stayed in bed until 4:00a.m. Which would have been nice. Anyhoose. Blighty beckons. Enjoy the vid...
iPad users click here for the Vimeo page where the vid will play fine.

I DON'T LIKE JELLY NO… I LOVE IT.

They're big on karma in these parts. A theory that basically distills down to 'do good things and good things will happen to you and vice versa.' I don't subscribe to any particular religious philosophy but I do always have karma in the back of my mind. So when I rescued a washed up jellyfish yesterday I thought I was a little bit in credit with Mother Nature.

Skip to this morning when I was shooting particularly average A-Bay from the water; a wave with much potential but yet to really come to the party this trip. All was going well even though the surf wasn't quite right, the dawn light was lovely, the wind favourable and the swell had built over night. It felt like time to get some decent photos finally.

I was wrong. Turns out the jellyfish I rescued wanted to say thanks, it did this by casually drifting up to me and giving me a big  hug, right around my throat. I responded to the insane pain of being stung in the throat by an adult jelly by punching it off. Net result- stings all over my knuckles as well. If you've never been stung by a jelly it's like a nettle sting turned up to 11, or a really good scald, end result is that tight burning pain you know is going to linger for hours… On the plus side this was a really good time to find out I'm not allergic to jellyfish stings.

Anyhoose. Karma can do one.

Enjoy the little film. iPad users click here for the video page.

Hot Daaaaaaaaam Hot...

So. I is in Sri Lanka innit. Where it is about 1˚ cooler than the surface of the sun. I'm sweating in places I didn't even know existed. The only time of day where you are not sweating is dawn, but cos the island is close to the equator the sun rises fast and it makes an audible swooshing noise as it flies upwards. The waves thus far (have been here since Sunday night) haven't been too hot, but a good swell is brewing. Check the vid for the skinny... iPad users click here for the vid.

SCREAM 4, SNORE 1….

It's said that travel broadens the mind and expands your soul
Which is all well and good but travel can be a right pain in the shitter as well.
Case in point my recent hop, skip and a jump to Sri Lanka.

The voyage started off well- a seamless tube trip to Heathrow, a painless check in with Sri Lankan airlines, a good (but anchovy free?) Caesar salad in the airport bar and stress free boarding… This is pretty much where the nice bit stops and the wanting to bang your head on a wall bit starts.

I was allocated an aisle seat in row 20. Which means a bulkhead seat, plus points being ample leg room and no doofus in front of you to recline their seat into your in-flight meal, but the bulkhead row is a false promise, it carries a dark secret, one that frequent travellers will also be aware of.

Because that row is also known as the 'creche'.
For the bulkhead row is where all the screaming babies get sent.

I hoped this wasn't going to be the case as I'm a marked man when it comes to wailing infants on long haul flights.

Sri Lan Ka Ka Ka Ka...

So. I is orf to Sri Lanka this arvo. It's one of those rare beasts- a free media trip. Rarer than unicorn poop they are. It was all a bit last minute, the flight was confirmed wednesday, as in two days ago, so it hasn't been the easiest thing for the nerves, especially when we're hopefully counting on a decent feature for the mag from the trip and it might not of even happened and deadlines next week... Anyhoose.

Forecast looks ace, the sand on the point is good, Stoker is out there already (he was there for the QS) and reckons its hotter than hell on a hot day when the AC is broke, in one email he wrote, "mate, it's so hot here it's not even funny, I'm sat in the Internet cafe in me pants it's so sweaty." Which is a delightful mental image I'm sure you'll agree.

I'll let you know how we get on...

ps: This heffalump is from last years trip...

Cone Alone...

I'd love to know how many cones there are in existence. How long the average cone lives for and how many roadworks they guard before they get pensioned off. Whoever owns the Cones-R-Us factory is one very rich man. I always wonder when driving on the motorway if every tenth one is filled with concrete, cos otherwise you could just blaze through them all for fun...

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Rooooooy(d)!

So I've been up in Thurso for a week for the O'Neill Coldwater Classic, interweb access hasn't been a strong point and am now back in the bosom of mother England, halfway thru the 800-mile hike from near as damn it John O'Groats to the day job office in Newquay. I've been a bit slack with the site mainly due to aformentioned lack of reliable wifi, knackeredness and brain flatlining from standing outside in freezing temps 10-hours a day. It's no cakewalk shooting the most northerly surf comp in the world. But still, it was fun, Royden Bryson won (couldn't of happened to a nicer guy and I got to shout 'Yeah Roooooy(d)!! which makes no sense unless you watch the IT Crowd). The thing thats been tickling me most abou the trip was bumping into Dayyan Neve last night at a bar and him egging me to tell the crowd of my experience with the Black Santa... Something I had suppressed from my memory. I will tell you tomorrow, in the meantime I'm off in search of some not deep fried food...

Hawaii- After The Circus...

So. The comps have finished, the pro's that don't live here have high-tailed it down the H1 to jump on the first flight outta here and life is getting back to some semblance of normality for the people of the North Shore. The surf -sensing the world's lack of interest- has buggered off as well. The forecast until Sunday is small, mixed up, miserable, windy but warm balls...

Taj Burrow Smokes Slater In The Pipe Final...

 
Taj Burrow has claimed his spot in the venerable fraternity that is the Pipe Masters. The surf may have been on the way out but Teebs was the man today, adapting from barrels early on to aerial flaring in the final. Kelly looked the dogs in the quarters and semi but it fell apart for him in the final and he didn't even break double figures...

Pipeline Timeline Part 2- Micktorious...

 

And it came to pass that Joel Parkinson came up against Gavin Gillette in heat 15 who got a 9 for one wave and would've got an 11 for this next one had he not just been clipped right at the last minute..

Pipeline Timeline Part 1- The Bit Before Mick O'Clock...

 

It’s about time they changed the name of this event to the Backdoor Masters cos today was all about Pipe’s twisted little sister. A blessing for the natural foots and  a pain in the arse for the goofys as B-Door isn’t as backside friendly as Pipe. Trouble is Backdoor Masters sounds like the name of a bad porn film of the pain in the arse variety… Anyhoose- big things occurred today here’s the goss’ laid out in pictures and words-

Half Day...

 

The comp finished off the second round before going on hold at lunchtime... There were still some nugs at Backdoor but not enough to be contestable. Seeing as there's a fat swell coming tonight it should be (as the Saffas would say) absolutely cooking bru on the morrow... Anyhoose. Here's some pictographs*

Pipe Pipe Line Line... So Good They Named It Twice?

 
After one day of relative relaxation after the madness of the Eddie event we're straight into the Pipe comp... Here's some nugs from Day 1-

Fourth Batch...

 

Third Batch...

 

Second Batch...

 

First Batch...

 

The Bay Called The Day

 
Congrats to Greg Long here for winning the Eddie at the last minute from Slats... Am sorting out the shots now so will upload loads more in a bit now...

Don't You Open That...

 

Pheweee. Busy day on Da Rock- The O'Neill World Cup at Sunset finally finished its finals (congrats Parko) but I wasn't there I was down at Pipe shooting the celebrity B-Door sesh featuring a good chunk of the Top-45. One of those days you needs a handy cloning machine so you can be in two places at once. Everyone was mad to surf today before the humongous swell hits tonight and renders the North Shore a foamy mess of jizz and possibly causes structural damage...