Surfing and dope: the classic media stereotype. All surfers are stoners aren’t they? Well they aren’t if they want to surf well. Weed numbs the senses, slows reaction times down and means you’ll spend most of your session marvelling at how pretty the clouds are rather than actually doing any decent wave riding. When you’re bobbing around in the splendour of nature do you really need help appreciating it? Respecting Bob Marley also means you are much more statistically likely to own a Jack Johnson record… Which can’t ever be a good thing. On the plus side stoned surfers don’t ever hassle for waves unlike those…
Coke, Chop, Charlie, Bolivian Marching Powder, etc
…People who love a rail. Surfing and coke is a real bad mix. Anyone on a drug that makes you feel like the king of the world, at the top of your game and a little bit superhuman (not to mention free from fatigue) is going to be a dick in the water. Wave count- huge, enjoyment of said waves- massive, consideration for others around you-zero, potential for a huge heart attack whilst chopped up- 24x your usual risk. So think about that. Statistics on heart attacks/strokes directly linked to coke use in the under 35s aren’t in the public domain yet but the figures aren’t good. Surfers are supposed to be virile anyway… Why take anything that makes you a knob in the water and impotent on land?
E, Ecstasy, Gurners, Disco Biscuits, etc
We could all use more empathy in the line up. A caring, sharing, ‘everyone has a warm glow’ about them vibe would be nice. No vicious competition for waves, lots of hugging and heartfelt communication amongst the pack. Sadly for this to happen everyone would have to be gurning their titties off on disco biscuits. Then again, early sessions after big club nights in Newquay are probably a bit like this anyway. The dehydration factor would be a bit of a nightmare when out in the briny as well…
Ketamine, Special K, etc
A newer kid on the scene that is growing in popularity. People wishing to enter the ‘K Hole’ need their heads looked at. Horse tranquilisers as a leisure pursuit? Get real. On the plus side anyone doing Ket won’t be surfing as they’ll be pinned to the couch crying for their mummies to stop the dragon swallowing them whole and wondering why they can’t move their limbs... So at least they won’t be bothering us in the water.
