The Horn
In Indo the MOT consists of one test. It takes less than 10-seconds for the whole thing to be conducted. You drive your wagon into the test-bay, the inspector reaches in, honks your horn once, just a quick beep, then gives it a long, aggressive 5-second blast. As long as it makes a noise and doesn’t sound like you are running over a dogs chew toy then you pass. This is the only mandatory requirement for a vehicle in Indo. It can be a rusty death trap with no floor that is partially on fire but that’s no matter. Your horn works you’re good to go. Equally being a paid taxi/bemo driver it seems the only thing you need to know is where the horn is (that and how to do the steering wheel mime and say ‘transport?’ to every white honky tourist). All driving is based around it. This is why -with the exception of Portugal- Indo is the most terrifying place in the world to be in a vehicle. But it is arguably safer to get driven than try and drive; that is just crazy talk.
Boat Safety
Boat trips are great huh? Before you hit the Mentawai motherlode for the dream trip of dream trips how about a warm up? The classic Bali-Lombok-Sumbawa run, way cheaper, less crowded and some super cool waves like Deserts, Shippies, Scars and Supersuck to check out. Of course the boats are smaller, cheaper and more, errr, local. Wooden outriggers with one cabin that houses your bunks, kitchen and shitter are the norm. But they are a quarter of the cost of a Mentals charter. Proportionally they have less than a quarter of the safety equipment as well. Life raft? Nope. Life jackets? Negative. Radio? Nah, well unless the car stereo jerry rigged to the electrics with exposed wires counts. First aid kit? What’s that?
In essence- way more fun. This is life on the edge of disaster. Anything goes wrong and you are paddling your board away from the flaming, sinking wreckage. Don’t smirk. It happens, a lot more often than you think.
Sea Ulcers
Surfing and the tropics means one thing- pus dribbling wounds. The noble sea ulcer forms from any cut, nick or rub you have. Progressively getting worse until you really have to stay out the sea. We hate the things, but for once Length Loathes actually has a solution rather than just venting bile- a little bottle of purple juice you can only get in Indo chemists- Gentian Violet. Makes ‘em heal, keeps them dry and is all round amazing. Only downside is you get permanent purple stains on your bed sheets, clothes, partners…
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