Slide Mag

Kayakers Are Harder Than Surfers- It's Official.

This is plain suicidal. Yes that little speck is a canoe man going over a very big waterfall. It's not photoshop cos I saw the clip on the news. The dude is Pedro Olivia a Brazilian, he plummeted 127ft over the Salto Belo waterfalls in his homeland, smashing the previous world record of 108ft. Seems the hunt for 100ft wave has some competition cos this is kerazee sheet...

Online Magazines Are Not Made Of Paper...

So why is it interweb publishers insist on giving us a 'page flipping' magazine with a 'genuine swish of real paper being turned' noise just to let us know we are turning a page?!? Why put a spine down the middle when there's no frickin paper or glue? You don't need a spine, you don't need swishy noises cos its made of frickin pixels. Zeroes and ones. Not mashed up tree. So whilst I applaud the tree saving antics of online mags please just move with the times- a > button is all we need to get to the next page, a satisfying 'swish' is not. Jeeeeeeez...

Errrm... Bad Idea.

You may have seen the Gaviscon advert. It's the one where a bunch of white firemen shoot white goo down a womans throat from their 'hose'. I'm not sure if the ad agency or the company really thought about the visual associations they are making here. Just thought I'd point that out...

A Plea To English Bar Staff...

I love Guinness. There's no finer thing than a pint of black gold. It is my favourite beer and I can get through most of the year drinking no other booze (apart from the odd icey Magners if we get a summer with some heat and sunshine involved and the odd fresh limey G&T if I'm feeling cosmopolitan, lager is soooo not me) so I like it to be right. In Ireland they pour it right. It takes a good while and tastes perfect. It should take 119.5 seconds(!) In England bar staff increasingly pour it like they are pouring a pint of piss like Fosters. Pour it at 45˚, leave it to SETTLE, then top it up pushing the tap away from you not towards you. Don't put a shamrock in the head cos that's bent (and it ends up looking like a cock most of the time) and for fucks sake whatever you do do not put it in a frickin' plastic glass! Aaaaaaaaargh. Learn your job puh-leeeese...

Charlie Brooker is a Leg End...

There's not many writers whose work I lap up like a dehydrated mutt but the Guardian's Charlie Brooker is one such beast. His Screen Burn column was/is genius. He is a miserable 'see you next Tuesday' but that makes for entertaining bile. Here's his spittle drenched take on the start of the Apprentice. I've also downloaded his new Beeb4 thing off the iPlayer and look forward to that. While Chris Morris of BrassEye/Day Today fame is out the loop working on his film project Brookers keeps me smilin'.